Today I’ve become aware that the conditions surrounding me are mostly conducive to a feeling of safety, there’s also an acknowledged reality of having the freedom to make choices and multiple paths to walk. One can only hold enormous gratitude and never feel a sense of entitlement for such circumstances emerging in one’s life. There are no bombs, no refugees, no lack of food and, as yet, a stable climate that’s not driving me from my homeland, nothing to disrupt my sense of identity and because it’s rooted in calmness much easier to navigate life and make clear decisions.
I believe most of us know what happens when the “rug gets pulled out from under our feet” A gap quickly appears in our tightly constructed idea of the world, the same gap we experience when a loved one dies. We all long for continuity but when interruptions come along and we’re not battle-ready it can test who we think we are. That battle is now on our doorstep. Can you remain calm and capable of making clear decisions under pressure? If bombs were dropping or food supplies running short would you lose your grip on reality, with no certainty and no reference point or any clear recognition of the present moment are you sure about what’s needed or even who or what your true identity is?
Having no reference point due to unexpected disruptions has always led people throughout history to make decisions that often worsen everything. Some will find religion especially when logic no longer serves and our emotional world is overwhelmed, we look for something beyond logic that speaks to us in a timeless, nonconceptual way. As the famous Buddhist master Milarepa said “ The precious pot containing my riches becomes my teacher in the very moment it breaks” A resilience of mind and strong faith also gives a person a readiness to take effective action. Are you ready for this battle?
Those of you who are old enough to remember and those who have read Victor Frankl’s experience in the German concentration camp Auschwitz will understand his message for survival, he says, that even if everything can be taken away from a man or woman the last of any human freedom is the ability to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances. It’s an uplifting story and speaks of letting go, the ability to let the precious pot slip from our hands if we ever wish to create a new one.
Retirement, old age and declining health aren’t much fun, it’s an enormous challenge but the more we learn to recognise that disruption is ever constant and that it’s happening all the time, day to day, moment to moment and therefore, by continuing to look for the reliable ground upon which to stand we discover that this wanting only continues to bring us more dissatisfaction, more suffering.
We cannot manufacture security especially if trouble arrives at our door, but we can however begin to give up on the game of holding these imaginary pictures of our ideal self, our perfect government and this rosy idea of the world where it works best for us by manipulating our circumstances and others needs to get what we want all the while pretending we are the only ones that know best and have it together. Victor Frankl may have something to say about that illusion.
Our mindful journey ends here but it’s always valuable to remember that when we try to postpone acceptance of this moment we have already lost the game and moved over to the bench to sit things out. Hoping the game will get better while sitting on the bench is a recipe for losing. ‘Trying’ to hold it all together is also not a good option. If the battle arrives at your front door you may get very angry but then begin to understand how your expectations of wanting forever stability is the very strategy that loses the war. This is not about the individual and until we learn how to ask both our friends and enemies how they think we should go about solving our problems we will never sleep comfortably.
