Are you confused about moving into retirement? Is there a guaranteed way to survive it?  When I began thinking about this blog two years ago my motivation was to investigate possible alternate pathways into and out of retirement. The old paradigm was looking pretty tired and many folks were missing the target altogether. The basic idea was to identify some workable routes that could circumvent obvious traps and replace some of the marooned ways of thinking that the existing scheme had created. A change in our thinking seemed well overdue.

When considering topics that would fit this future blog the research pointed to what could be roughly classified as some ‘essential preliminaries’ – stuff that needed to line up in the proper order before one could make any clear choices, much of which was very sensible and practical: get your finances in order, keep fit, find a hobby, develop new routines etc…. However, it appeared that the system had avoided intentionally, or unintentionally, certain bare essentials for a balanced and empowering life, see my previous post here on lifestyle changes. The skills that were missing related to a gap in our ability to become better equipped emotionally. A counterbalance is needed to the very limited discussions around this ‘how to retire’ topic. Given that the world is becoming a more difficult environment in which to manoeuvre, focusing almost exclusively on financial security seemed outdated and lacked the balanced that a mature transition required. 

A successful retirement requires a more wholesome approach. We are talking here about developing emotional intelligence which then guides our inner well-being and choices.

Consider the following statements as survival essentials that could prompt better planning:

• I do or do not recognise that everything happening outside is a reflection of my own thinking. What’s happening outside is really about me.

• I already know the answer but choose not to listen, what stops me from believing in myself

• I am always right, I’ll do and say anything to justify my position.

• How I treat others is how I treat myself

• Do I put in the time to find meaningful alternatives to my stress that could deliver lasting peace and not just temporary fixes?

• What do I need/want that will make a difference?

• Do you still believe the thought “I’m not good enough”

• Its time that I identify what causes me pain and separation

• Have I begun the work of self -enquiry

These questions present an alternate way of thinking, of discovery perhaps, a new way of talking to ourselves, certainly questions that will challenge our current position. And, if we’re open to this enquiry, help lead us to a more curious place where different life choices can be considered. One thing is clear: our special uniqueness, our varied motivations and our particular place in society present us with contrasting pictures, none of us acts the same but we all struggle at times and any chunks of gold we dig up are only discovered by paying attention to the small steps, the choices we make each and every day. Instead of shutting doors, we then open up to new horizons that lead to unseen islands and faraway places.

Retiring is never easy however, most of us are smart enough to know that too much thinking messes us around, it wastes our precious time here on earth, creates enemies and stops us really caring about others and appreciating what we ourselves have achieved, giving ourselves a pat on the back.  Retirement is as much about letting go as it is concerned with gaining everything you want. The stories we spin about everyone else get us into so much trouble and push the goal of happiness and peace further down the road. We’re always chasing our tails and it’s time to stop.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek” – Joseph Campbell

It’s time we started realigning some of our goals and strategies to keep us emotionally safe in our years of retirement. What’s outside does’nt have to reflect what’s inside. It’s essential we stop identifying with being scared and powerless. Have you noticed that when difficult circumstances arise in the world we are promised so much by the rich and powerful, much of which is intended to keep them in control and for me, it’s become damn exhausting. Self-reflection and deeper insight show us there is no spirit to be found in that way of thinking, no religion worth discussing only greed and a slow decline of everything we love and hold dearly. Retirement Survival is about thinking outside that box, it what gives you back control.

It’s a sense of urgency that keeps me writing. Nothing seems to reflect the wonderful position I found myself in 50 odd years ago when leaving high school, those opportunities seem to have evaporated for the younger generations. You may have been dreaming of the ultimate retirement location but are you also getting stuck in emotional places you don’t really want to be anymore? Without periods of clear self-reflection, as opposed to wanting more, you may be missing the stuff sitting right in front of you that needs your attention. Having constant distractions becomes a wrong way of thinking, these fleeting thoughts become an enormous anchor to achieving happiness.

It’s clear that money and good planning helps most retirement decisions but if you choose to follow the phlosophey of the “Hero’s Journey” in which Joseph Campbell’s example starts with you! the first step is moving beyond wanting everything to be cosy and forever comfortable. It’s a myth and a trick of the mind that it can ever be found. Mindful behaviour in preparation for retirement is more about conscious behaviour, this is where we are listening very closely, the whispers are there: “be yourself”  stop behaving badly, stop doing, thinking, desiring and needing stuff that’s not who you are or where you want to go. It’s these confused boundaries that end up becoming the real reason why money never satisfies our dreams in the end. So folks, get your planning into perspective and then use your enhanced awareness to guide you to the other shore and into a safe future.