Have you ever wondered who it was that first dreamed up the word ‘retirement’ ?. I’ll get to that shortly but first a question: why do you think the word ‘retirement’ carries so much emotional force when spoken? It’s a word loaded with underlying melodrama, fear and much trepidation throughout the western world, whole industries have grown up to service and advise us on what it all means. Aging is very big business. So, how is it that this simple word can conjure up such an amazing range of human feelings, jumping between the extremes of bubbling excitement and dreamy anticipation into wholly unfounded fears and constant crazy worrying?
Apparently, the German Chancellor Otto von Bismarck knew what it meant when he coined the term back in 1889. He established the concept for the rest of us to follow once he realised that there were members of society that needed help due to their extreme poverty or physical handicaps. He declared that the state must step in to help these individuals if they were to have a chance of retiring with any dignity.
Since Otto’s time, things have gone somewhat downhill. There’s a growing number of global populations that find it hard to understand why they are feeling like a fish out of water when attempting to search for their retirement options. Limitations are everywhere. It’s easy to feel like you’re being left behind when you spend much of your time wondering where your fate will carry you next, this loss of direction can become very confusing. Complications set in when the future we expected doesn’t quite match up with the reality we’re facing: i.e. what’s happening on the ground, in the society and with the economy. The whole process can be very different from what we imagined. The fact is: “we can’t go around it, we can’t go under it and we have to go through it”.
“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” –Will Rogers
When I stumbled through my own memories of what it felt like the first time I’d tried to tell friends I was planning to retire, it became strangely uncomfortable and I grew hesitant to speak up. However you try to polish it up retirement is an act of withdrawing from certain people, places and things that have defined you thus far. For most of us, retirement will be the only time in our lives that we discover our time no longer equates to having to make more money. Consequently, reactions from others are an inevitable part of the process, feelings of frustration, vulnerability and rejection become more about testing who you are, than how others may be feeling or reacting. If people are not comfortable in their own skin you may notice some weird stuff going on but one thing is certain, the longer you hesitate the harder it is to move on. Such is the power of the word.
No one should ever lament getting older for every day is a privilege, a true gift. Somehow we have arrived at this strange place where revealing one’s age seems to be fraught with misgivings. Why is it such an uncomfortable and difficult discussion to have? If you are blessed with self-esteem you will know that life is about how we have lived, not about how many years you have clocked up on the meter. This miracle is not a competition. It’s simple, if you have lived a life being kind to others then you will have friends, good relationships and no anger in your heart, your time here will have been perfectly sufficient with no regrets weighing you down.
Patience is a Virtue
Sometimes the waters can be far too muddied for self-reflection, if you enter a stream that is stirred up you will not know where to safely place your steps to cross over, so it would be safer to wait on the bank until the stream clears. Find a peaceful spot to rest awhile. We should really stop rushing around, there will always be experiences we feel we have missed out on, but how is it possible for one person to even think they can have it all? We are not missing out on anything. Perhaps we have lost our way. This world is so unique, a place full of secrets and wonders and so much beauty, why then do we lack a sense of stability in our older years, do we really believe that our happiness is just over another green hill? There is no such thing as perfect balance under God’s skies, everything is impermanent, everything fades, even us. Continuing to struggle only wears us out.
Otto von Bismarck was ahead of his time when understanding the needs of men. I’m no longer convinced that relying on the State to provide us with safety in our old age will last for that much longer. We should be looking beyond the advice of the professionals and their vested interests in our future if we really are seeking better holistic guidance… It’s time to shine a light on what a productive retirement looks like and not what you’re being told it ought to look like. How else will you squeeze out from underneath what’s weighing you down, arising each day, not with an already heavy load but equipped for change, mindful of what feelings are holding you back, knowing full well where and when to emerge in order to commence your newfound life and venture boldly into old age. This is not a story about money, that’s a lie, it’s about having the right conditions available for everyone to prosper, to live a good life, all of us, together as one.
